After spending time at the Multicultural Family Center the last couple of weeks, I have noticed how different my life really is/was compared to children who attend the center. The vast majority of them are African American, and one thing I found shocking is that they realize they are black. I thought these children would not realize that we were of a different race. But when one child asked “Whitey, can you read me a story?" I was shocked and stunned. I did not how to react so I just said “My name is not ‘whitey’ it is Dave.” Later on when I stood up one child said “You are tall like my dad. You kinda look like him!” “He can’t look like your dad! He ain’t black!” another child quickly intervened. Again I was shocked and I realized that these kids are no stranger to race. This does not mean that they judged me for being white; they didn't even care. They still wanted me to help them with their homework, read to them, play with them on the computers, but at the same time they still knew I was white and they were black. This past weekend I was reflecting and talking about this experience at dinner and I was met with a very disturbing fact, every time these children look in the mirror they do not see just a kid but a black kid. How does this make them feel? Do they feel different or think they are different? Every time I go to the center I step into a world where I am conscience of my race and these kids live in that world every minute of their lives. I think I need to spend more time at the center in order to answer these questions so I plan on answering these questions in a future blog.
Then I had to ask myself the question do I look at these kids and see that they are black? Or do I look at them and see them as another human being? I have always thought that I saw people of different ethnic backgrounds as just another human being. Whenever I meet someone of a different race, I automatically think what can I do or say to not come across as racist. And I think this makes me racist in a way. When I see another white person I do not think that so why do I think that when I see someone of a different race? After thinking about this for awhile, I have come to the conclusion that a large part of the way one perceives another race is based on your social environment. I did not grow up with any African Americans in my small hometown but I was always taught not to discriminate in school and at home. But for me not discriminating meant just not saying anything demeaning and being friendly when I very rarely encountered someone of a different race. Now I realize there is a spectrum of discrimination. The absolute racist, and the absolute lover of all peoples on the two ends. Then there are the people who don’t make racist comments but don’t do anything to stop racism in the middle. Hopefully I can move towards the ‘lover of all peoples’ end of the spectrum through this service opportunity.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Dave, this reflection is great. I even laughed when I remembered the kid saying, "He ain't black." The points you brought up were very interesting. I should reflect on similar questions. It is interesting that you thought you didn't see people for their race, but it seems difficult not to. It doesn't change how one reacts to the other people, but the visible difference remains. It's difficult for me to comprehend such a thought, but it happens nonetheless. The great thing is, our interactions with the kids are awesome. My first day down there, the kids were asking me to read books and play games and help them with coloring pictures. It's great. It seems like they trust us right away and don't worry about race though they recognize the difference. I believe that is sort of what the world needs. People need to recognize the difference, but they need to respect others for their difference. That way, we can respect everyone for who they are.
(I'm sorry this is late!) It's crazy because earlier tonight I was reading a book called BLINK by a guy named Gladwell for my Psychology Senior Seminar. In the book he talks about the thinking process that happens so quickly that we can't really control it. One of the issues he talked about was that of race and gender. Some of us are unaware of those issues-- they are still in our subconscious. for some of us, perhaps like the children you are helping, it is a conscious rather than subconscious thought. And don't worry-- I don't think because you are aware it makes you racist, like Gladwell says many times these subconscious concerns or thoughts are contradictory to how we act.
I can't imagine being that young and almost being forced to be so socially aware, sometimes I am almost ashamed at how naive I was growing up in a small town that was quite sheltered. I think it's great that you are so aware not only of your own thoughts and the way that this experience is affecting you, but also to how it is affecting the kids.
Post a Comment